she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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