yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
The air was thick with penises
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
