I can't breathe out the right side of my face
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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