Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
