its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
