Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
