I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Mom said you looked used
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
