Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Randomize
