haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
