That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
