their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
In other news, I just burned my penis
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
