So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize