I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
