he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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