I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
