used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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