I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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