I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
That reminds me...we need to get swords
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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