he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
