my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
