I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
