She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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