Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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