Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
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