But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
