do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
