you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
