Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
