lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize