Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
