small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
