if you like me you must not know who I am
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
