you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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