it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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