ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Randomize
