Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
