We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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