He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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