and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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