i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
