OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Randomize
