She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
