If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Randomize
