i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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