just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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