It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
