Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
