i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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