Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Dick very happy bro
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize