captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
