we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
