Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
