I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
