I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
