Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
