You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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