So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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