I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
time to smoke my breakfast
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
