You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Bring me that man meat
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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