And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize