He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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