vagina is talking i cant
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
