So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
