Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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