omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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