It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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