she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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