I want to make a zoo with you.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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